The Beginning…Chance Educational & Support Services, Inc.

It’s now time to turn my Dreams into Reality. My non-profit organization is now moving forward. We were Incorporated in the state of Louisiana in October 2009 and God has not stopped blessing us since that moment I received the Incorporation letter in the mail.

The mission of Chance Educational & Support Services is to provide services that will assist in improving the quality of life for the youth, ages 13-18. We provide a nurturing environment that promotes the well-being of individuals and family. We work with children from low income urban neighborhoods in the city of New Orleans. Our primary goal is to address the issues of at-risk youth through educational programs & real-life experiences, led by experienced counselors and mentors. Our activities will encourage personal growth & broaden the experiences of at-risk urban children providing them the opportunity to spend time in a nurturing environment.

My mind, heart, & eyes are so wide open. 2010 is my year.

Can you HEAR me now?

You probably spend more time using your listening skills than any other kind of skill. Like other skills, listening takes practice.

Real listening is an active process that has three basic steps.

1. Hearing. Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.

2. Understanding. The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you hear that no two are alike, think about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra."

3. Judging. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems believable."

Tips for being a good listener

- Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.

- Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words.

-Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are.

-Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak! You can't really listen if you are busy thinking about what you want say next.

-Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..."

-Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, "When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?"

-Give FEEDBACK. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears!

Thinking fast
Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.

LISTENING to your peers, direct reports, friends, and loved ones is a very intricate part to understanding them and will go a long, long ways to build a strong relationship.

LISTEN!!

:-)

Giving a Review: Know this BEFORE Giving a Peformance Review...

I truly loved this article when I read it several years ago. My boss actually gave it to me as I was preparing to give my first set of reviews, to my employees, in 2005!! It seems like only yesterday, lol! Print this and follow these steps and it will make giving a review to your employees a breeze!!! ENJOY!!

--Written by ShellBeth
Many managers don't enjoy giving performance reviews, and that's too bad. Reviews are an excellent opportunity to take a pause from the urgent-but-not-important to communicate with an employee. In many cases, your employee is eager for feedback; in others, she or he may (rightly or wrongly) dread the review. Here's how to make the performance review process not only pretty painless but also very useful.

Step 1
The most important thing I've learned about giving annual performance reviews in decades as a manager is this: the review should not be a series of surprises for the employee, especially not unpleasant surprises. This means that your job as a manager includes keeping up with your team and their strengths, weaknesses, achievements, and must-do goals. You must communicate with staff members about these and other specifics relevant to their performance all throughout the year.

Step 2
A review should not be a series of vague statements. "You meet department expectations. Rating: good." Often, a review ends up being bland because when it comes time for the manager to write it, the manager cannot recall relevant examples to back up the statements in the review. (This becomes evident when any examples that ARE cited occurred within the last month or so, something of which I've been guilty.) Be ready. Jot down notes about your employees' work throughout the year, and refer to these notes when writing the review. Keep these notes in the employee's individual folders.

Step 3
Put your employee at ease. Start the review by saying something pleasant. "You've had a good year," is good if it's accurate, or, "You've made progress in your writing." If there's nothing good to say, be gentle while being honest.

Step 4
Create realistic goals for the employee for the upcoming 12 months and explain how the person can accomplish them. "We need to see you improve your attendance. If you have errands or appointments, schedule them for before or after work, or take a vacation day."

Step 5
Give your employee some airtime! Ask his or her goals, concerns and comments on what you've said. Listen carefully, and if you disagree, explain why.

Step 6
If your company asks employees to sign the review, it is wise to include a written statement near the signature line stating that the signature indicates that the employee has seen the written review, but does not necessarily agree with all the statements it contains. After all, fair is fair.

Following these simple steps with give you the ability to knock out your reviews in NO TIME!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!! Any questions just ask me!

Receiving a Review: Know this BEFORE your Performance Review...

It's coming to the end of the year and like several others it's PERFORMANCE REVIEW time. The one thing that everyone dreads even if you think you are the top and best performer.

Do you remember the feeling you had when report card time rolled around in grade school? If you were a good student or had a particularly good semester, you didn't dread it. You might have even been excited because you'd get kudos and possibly a reward from your parents. On the other hand, if your grades for the past few months looked more like football scores than basketball scores, you probably had some butterflies in your stomach. Maybe you even "lost" the report card on the way home. Jump ahead a few decades and it's déjà vu. Your annual performance review is like report card day, except with nicer clothes and W-2s. You get feedback on your work for the past year, hope that it's good and set new goals for the coming months or year. The review is a chance to find out what your boss wants from you and for you to explain what you want from your job. While you could only wring your hands as you waited for the arrival of your grades, you can and should prepare for your review.

Professional Journaling:
A key thing that I ensure I do throughout the year to prepare for my review is keep a professional journal. This is something I can not live without. I record various things in my journal to ensure I don't forget when it's review time.

Items to keep in your journal:
1. Best pratices that you created and implemented
2. Recognition given to you by your peers and leaders within the company
3. Projects, I've done, in outside organizations such as sororities and clubs. (many companies think highly of these items)
4. Conflict I may have encountered from peers or from my employees. Document what the conflict was, how did you resolve it, what was the outcome, and how did you feel during this situation
5. Projects I've worked on with other teammates. Was it successful? Did it not turn out how you wanted it? What did you learn from it.
6. Trainings and certifications you have received during the year
7. Developmental opportunities you would like to take part in to learn and grow in your field such as extra classes, workshops, or conferences that would benefit both you and the company

We would love to believe that our boss remembered when we save the facility $75,000 but sometimes that does slip their mind, so keeping track of what you've done will definitely help with preparing for your review with your boss. KEEP A JOURNAL whether electronically or a simple notebook!!

The Self-Assessment:
You should spend a little time reflecting on the facts, feelings and results of the past period. The facts include what happened, successes and failures. Feelings would be how the employee reacted to the facts and how you felt your boss felt about your successes and failures. And then review the concrete results of your work. This preparation will put you in the right mindset for listening to what your boss has to say and get you thinking about what you want to discuss. The review is about you and your performance. Ask questions about how to improve your performance and to clarify expectations for your current job and the next one you want. Do not make the discussion into a critique of your boss or your peers. That is deflection rather than being useful. Accepting good and bad FEEDBACK. Nevertheless, you might find yourself wanting to deflect or raise a fuss if you receive criticism. Don't let that happen. Defensiveness is never useful. The boss wants an employee to try to understand the criticism first. Whether you disagree with the criticism or not, ask questions about it and try to understand it completely from the boss' point of view. Then if you feel that it's unfair, you can push back...gently. But if you try to push back before you really understand, it will send the message that you are not interested in feedback.Don't forget that all feedback, both the criticism and the praise, is designed to enhance your future work. For example, you've shown a command of your regular job duties, but you're not showing the leadership skills that you'd need to move on to the next level. Therefore you know you can do the job, but you need to demonstrate that you're capable of handling a promotion. The review process isn't about scolding, at least if you have a good boss, it's about making you being a better employee. If the company just wanted to criticize you, they could save everyone the time and send you a mean e-mail. Or just fire you. Your responsibility after the review is to use the criticism and praise you received in the review as guidelines for daily performance. Take a few notes and then think about what concrete steps you can take to actually improve your performance and ensure that your improvements are noticeable. Remember that you don't have to demonstrate things in the next week. After a suitable period of time, perhaps halfway to the next review, ask the boss for feedback on how you are doing on the specific issues that were addressed. That will get you feedback in time to do something about it and will get your boss to try to notice things as well.

The Salary Talk:
When you're thinking about your review, you're probably also thinking about how the outcome affects your pay. In some companies, salary negotiations might be an entirely separate meeting that takes place at a different time. Other businesses use the performance review to handle compensation talks. I urge you to think of the review and the salary discussion as separate issues. If your compensation is going to be discussed, the boss will be the one to mention it first. If the boss doesn't bring it up, at the end, ask how the salary review relates to the performance review. The purpose of performance review is to give an employee feedback about their performance with respect to expectations and to communicate future expectations. A salary review is to reset pay with respect to others in the firm and with the external market. By letting the salary talk occur naturally, you're not moving focus from you or your performance. You show the boss that your mind is on more than the paycheck and you're concerned about what he or she has to say.

What's the Next Step?
Now your review is over, you've shakened your boss' hand and you are now on your way back to your office. Take a deep breath and reflect on everything that happened in the review. Use both the positive and negative feedback as stepping stones.
Questions you should ask yourself:
1. What are my opportunities? this is another and better way of saying weaknesses. Although you should not take too much time out to try to work on your weaknesses because unforunately these items are what we were born with. The only thing you can do is make them as effective as possible so talk to your boss and peers to get feedback on how you can work on your weaknesses.
2. Where do I go next? Do you need extra training in a special field? Well talk to your boss to follow-up with him or her to see if you can sign up for training. Use your resources.
3. Where can I go to get a drink? YES, the review is over, now pat yourself on the back, document what you need to work on, and go celebrate for completing another FABULOUS year with your company!!!!

:-)

Keep Your FOCUS by ELIMINATING PROCRASTINATION...

All throughout school you habitually procrastinate...15 page paper due September 6th, so you start on it September 5th, major exam on a Monday so you cram all weekend long trying to retain several months of information when really all you had to do was study a small portion each night prior to taking the exam...This is what we do best.

But once you take a step into 'Corporate America' that all has to come to a halt. I have witnessed too many times where a person does a presentation at a Board Meeting and when asked questions, by their peers and bosses, they crumble.Why? Because they waited until the last minute to put together their presentation.

Why do people procratinate?

• Inadequate resources (information, time, money, etc.)
• Fear of potential negative consequences
• Fear of failure so you avoid the task
• Lack of clear deadlines
• The task feels overwhelming.

When we are given a task we must ask ourselves these questions...

• What are the consequences of delay? Will the situation escalate?
• If so, how will you feel (guilty, regretful, embarrassed, etc)
• Will you continue to think about the task even if you don't do it?
• Do you really work well under pressure? In some ways, do you like it?
• When the crunch time comes, do you behave badly towards others?
• What are your escape routes when you procrastinate (socializing, doing other tasks, daydreaming, etc.)? How can you change your escape routes to reduce the likelihood of procrastination?
• What are your inner beliefs? What is your self-talk? Do you hear messages like, "I'm such a procrastinator, I can't help myself"?

Here are a few ways to OVERCOME Procrastination

• Assign yourself a deadline, write it in your planner, and make a public committment to some your respect who won't let you "off the hook". Tell that person what you want to do, by when, and ask him or her to check up on you. The task can be on a personal or professional level.
• Do the task early. Start your, presentation, research, and fact-finding early. Waiting til "later" creates anxiety; we aren't free from thinking or worrying about it! If you start your project or task early this will give you time to review your final work as well as review your work with your boss to see if you are going in the right direction. He or she will see your engagement and acknowlege that.
• Delegate the task to someone else or look to see if this is a task your even need to do. There are so many times we try to take on everything for fear of seeming weak or disengaged but if the assignment is not adding value then DELETE!
• Reward yourself when you don't procrastinate! Feed your self-esteem with the satisfaction of completing a job on time.
• Ask a mentor or expert for advice. Record his or her thoughts in a planner, possibly behind a numbered tab. When you get ideas for implementing the task, jot them down.
• Tie the task to one of your personal-development values. Always see how the task can influence or make an impact on you personally. That always adds motivation to get the job done!
• Break the task down into smaller pieces/tasks. Use a goal planning tool to help you (ask you boss about this). You want to ensure that you limit the amount of time for your small tasks, no more than 15 to 20 minutes, or else you will procrastinate
• Change your self-talk. Instead of saying, "I'm a procrastinor," say "I honor my committments," 'I keep promises to myself,"...Believe me, this works! I am a true self-talker...Remember, if you don't put trust in yourself who will???
• Lastly, establish an evironment for work. Remove any distractions that would encourage a loss of focus.

The goal is to keep your focus and prioritize your tasks and job. Ensure you do a thorough job and present top notch work!!

If you need someone to keep you on task, give me a call!!

Feedback is a Gift...

"As managers we learn how to give feedback. To achieve our full potential as leaders we need to learn how to ask for feedback."

As a manager it is very easy to give continuous feedback to our employees and team but have you ever taken a step back and asked them for feedback to help drive your success? Highly than likely the answer is NO. Do not feel ashame for this is a weakness of many Leaders.

Our Wake...
A boat moving through the water creates a wake. Behind the boat, waves spread in both directions. The size of the wake depends on the size & speed of the boat; a canoe glides gently over the water creating a gentle ripple, while a speedboat can leave a churning front behind.

We, as humans, create wakes as well - interpersonal wakes. As we move through seas of people, who we are and how we act creates a wake which washes up against those around us. Our wakes are, for the most part, invisible. We catch glimpses of them in the expression of others, but we rarely know for sure what effect our wake has had on them.

In the organizations which form the communities of our lives, our wakes have important consequences. In our businesses, on our teams, with our associates, in our communities and homes, we want a positive wake. We want a wake that lifts others, but does not capsize them.

We want a wake which nutures, not one that needles. One with direction, not just a splash. One that is caring, not caustic, courageous yet tactful. A positive wake is critical to our success. But there is only one way to gauge its impact on others.

It is for them to tell us. That is why "Feedback is a Gift".

Key Points to Remember when asking your peers and team for feedback is:
Step 1: Ask. Be open and simply ask for feedback. To help you, write down exactly what you want to say to that person when asking for feedback.

Step 2: Listen. Listen to what that individual has to say. It will not always be something we want to hear but something we NEED to hear.

Step 3: Thank. Thank that person for the feedback. This will make that person feel comfortable with providing you feedback in the future, especially if this is coming from someone who reports to you. It is already tough for them to be honest with you so thank them so that they feel at ease and feel appreciated.

Step 4: Think. Think about what you will do with the feedback that was given to you. How can you improve in this area. Don't be afraid to ask them for suggestions!

Step 5: Follow-Up. Create a follow-up plan. As you work on the feedback, follow-up with that person to see if they see a change in you. Ask them for feedback on top of the feedback.

Take the risk and ask for FEEDBACK... You want to be more than just a MANAGER, you want to be LEADER as well.

Feedback is a Gift....

Losing HALF of Me...

I'm starting on a health kick, I need to lose a few extra pounds. Weight loss is such an intense journey. A journey that I know well. In the summer of 2007 I had gotten up to 293 pounds. And today, Summer 2009, I am 168!! Yes 293 to 168! Please believe it was tough shit, but it feels like such a major accomplishment!!

I am now trying to get down to a good & healthy size 8. I am a size 10 currently so it seems as if this should be easy but we'll see :-/ lol.

So as of today, 10/12/2009 at 12:32am, I am 168, size 10.....Let's get it! I'll keep you posted...

Just Me and the Boa...

YIKES!

So Friday evening, I get off of work and stop by the Rose Spa to get a Pedi (my addiction). Mekia hooked me up, I tried a new color, sky blue, and I love it!! So anyways, I finished up there and stopped by the leasing office to get a glass of wine and then headed to my place. So it's about 7:10pm. I walk into the house, kick off my shoes and head to the kitchen so that I can take my clothes out the washer to put in the dryer. I get to the kitchen and flip the light on and walk towards the laundry room. As I turn the corner, what the hell do I see?! A SNAKE'S Head peeping from under the refrigerator!!!!!!!! A SNAKE! So I walk backwards slowly, because I didn't want to scare the thing. I walk over to the couch and sit up on the head of it to keep my eyes on the snake. I grab the phone and call the leasing office to get someone to get the dang thing. I call the office and they put me thru to maintenance. It is now 7:25pm. Maintenance states that they will send someone to me. I sit and wait and call my Soror Megan, so she can keep me calm. So now it's about 7:45 and the Maintenance team is a NO-SHOW. So I get off the phone with Megs and call the front office again. They inform me that the Maintenance team is coming. It's now 7:50pm. So finally the leasing office calls me back and F'in informs me that I have to call the non-emergency police because there's no one available! So then I ask, do you have their number and he saids NO I DON'T. I'm now pissed. So anyways. I get off the phone and search for a phone book. I get the number and call the police. It's now 8:10pm. The police show up at about 8:15pm. Wow! That was fast and much appreciated!! So the officers come in and go to the kitchen, and of course I stay right on the couch because I am going no where near that thing. So the snake sees them coming towards him and he slides off under the fridge. So the officer moves the fridge and you will never believe what they see! They see a 4 foot long Boa!!! WTF?! A 4 foot Boa under the fridge in my townhouse! You have to be F'in kidding me! So after I finish having a mental breakdown I go back over the couch. The officers keep me well entertained. One is loving the snake and the other is slowly dying at the thought of having to catch this thing.

So back to the snake. The snake slides off and go towards his home, a hole in the wall. He slides in it but not fast enough, because the cop grabs it's tail and holds on. Well the snake gets upset and scared and starts flexing its body. It is now half way into the wall. So I call maintenance again and inform them that the police have to cut the wall open to get the snake. As soon as the cops say this, all of a sudden the maintenance team shows up! What a coincidence?! So the cops take a butter knife and start cutting into the wall. The maintenance team runs to the car and grabs some extra tools and help assist the police. The police gets the wall open and they are able to get the whole snake. I get them a plastic bag and they place the snake in the bag. The snake tuns out to be too big so we double up bags and they tie the bag up and take it outside. Y'all can only imagine my thoughts in this whole thing. Okay, so the police leave with the snake and I go inside and call my mother. I tell her everything and then pack a small bag and head off to a hotel (theres no way I can stay there).

So the next morning, Saturday, I drive to the leasing office to speak to the manager. Well, they inform me that the previous tenant owned a pet snake and while he was away for a weekend, the snake got out. Well the tenant never found the snake, so assumed the snake got outside and went away. WTF? So The Corporate Housing, Apartment Complex, and Previous Owner knew there was a SNAKE in the home but NO ONE told me?!?! You have to be kidding me?!

I am so done.

Okay, so the Corporate Housing Agent puts me in a new Apartment, out on Kinsey. Yes, it feels better to be safe and in a different place but it's still an uneasy feeling that I lived with a Boa for two weeks. But I am ALIVE.

Hmmmm....So for two weeks it was Just Me and the Boa. Welcome to TEXAS!

Feeling Refreshed...

Yes! I am currently on vacation, and I must say, it is very long overdue. I came back to spend time with my family in North Carolina for the week and I've enjoyed every second of it!! I turned the work cell off and only checked email once or maybe twice, lol.

Sometimes people can be so involved in their careers that they totally forget that there are other things out there, i.e. personal lives, loved ones, and mental & physical health. So I totally took advantage of my vacation and had nothing but 'me time'. I caught up on some reading, which is my fave thing to do, I am all about the drama and suspense type stuff, so nothing too serious. I've also been able to catch up with friends too.

A key action item that I've taken away from my 'me time' is that I've decided that I need a makeover. Physical, emotional, and mental. I need to be more positive about life, love and everything in between. I need to learn to take control of my fears and channel all that negative energy towards my happiness and success. It's time to let go of the past. I'm so ready. It's long overdue. And I know I can do it. I just haven't taken the time to let my mind be free of it. As far as physical goes, it's not that I need much of a makeover, (wink, wink) I just want to be in good & healthy shape. I've gotten a jump start on it. I am currently enrolled in Kickboxing Classes and I've been doing that 2-3 days a week but I think I can kick that up a notch, pun intended, lol. I'll definitely continue my bi-weekly pedicures, I must say wearing steel toe boots daily, kind of wears down on the toes :-\ And on the emotional & mental level... Any person who isn't encouraging, supportive, and is just about the drama? You get the two fingers. I'm completely through with drama. I'm washing my hands of it. I'm taking it with a grain of salt and letting it go. I can't do it anymore, honestly. You would be surprised of the people who actually live off of that shit, like little parasites. Sorry guys you are going to have to find someone else to eat off of...As Mariah said "gasping for air, & I'm ventilation".

My mind, heart, & eyes are so wide open.

This vacation has got me feeling so REFRESHED...