I am so excited & completely overwhelmed that my prayers have been and will continue to be answered. My non-profit is moving forward, my career is taking great turns, and I am just loving me some me.
~God Bless
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
God, please read this.
Dear God,
I just want to start off with saying 'thank you' for all you have done for me. I've been bless beyond measure and I love you so so much....
Growing up my brother & I were inseparable. He is 4 years younger than me so I made it a point to be his body guard, protector, his everything. When a kid took his lunch money, in kindergarten, I went and smacked the kid and then informed the teacher of what the kid was doing to my brother and the kid never messed with him again. That made me smile. Well growing up we began to grow apart, I went off to high school and he was still in middles school, I then went to college and he started high school so our worlds just went in opposite directions. During my brothers 10th grade year of high school, he changed. Became so different. He never felt good enough and he would compare himself to me. A barrier that him and I both had to overcome was our learning disabilities. But his was a harder fight.
Fast forwarding to today and my 22 year old brother has the mental capacity of a 7 year old. He is unable to have complete thoughts and he is very reactive versus proactive. My mother is unable to leave him home alone for no more than 2 consecutive days. I am just so scared. No one can even begin to know how it feels to watch someone just deteriorate before their eyes and feel as though there's nothing you can do. Growing up all my brother wanted to do was be an Veterinarian, I mean this boy could spit you any and all information on any animal, breed, species, anatomy make-up etc because he would spend hours reading and studying animals. But when it came to college time he shut down and decided it wasn't for him. See, I'm not a man so I really don't know if there is a phase in a man's life where he just shuts down to the world but then later opens or if my brother is gone. Lord knows I miss him. I just want to come home one holiday and he comes out his room and just gives me a hug or just say hello. I just don't know. I am strongly considering bringing him out to TX for a couple of weeks and see if he will just open up if its just me and him. I just don't know. But I really think my eyes are running out of tears. I mean, what will happen if my parents were to pass today. Who would take care of him, would he know what to do, where to go?
God, I know my thoughts are everywhere but I need you.
Yours Truly,
Joi
I just want to start off with saying 'thank you' for all you have done for me. I've been bless beyond measure and I love you so so much....
Growing up my brother & I were inseparable. He is 4 years younger than me so I made it a point to be his body guard, protector, his everything. When a kid took his lunch money, in kindergarten, I went and smacked the kid and then informed the teacher of what the kid was doing to my brother and the kid never messed with him again. That made me smile. Well growing up we began to grow apart, I went off to high school and he was still in middles school, I then went to college and he started high school so our worlds just went in opposite directions. During my brothers 10th grade year of high school, he changed. Became so different. He never felt good enough and he would compare himself to me. A barrier that him and I both had to overcome was our learning disabilities. But his was a harder fight.
Fast forwarding to today and my 22 year old brother has the mental capacity of a 7 year old. He is unable to have complete thoughts and he is very reactive versus proactive. My mother is unable to leave him home alone for no more than 2 consecutive days. I am just so scared. No one can even begin to know how it feels to watch someone just deteriorate before their eyes and feel as though there's nothing you can do. Growing up all my brother wanted to do was be an Veterinarian, I mean this boy could spit you any and all information on any animal, breed, species, anatomy make-up etc because he would spend hours reading and studying animals. But when it came to college time he shut down and decided it wasn't for him. See, I'm not a man so I really don't know if there is a phase in a man's life where he just shuts down to the world but then later opens or if my brother is gone. Lord knows I miss him. I just want to come home one holiday and he comes out his room and just gives me a hug or just say hello. I just don't know. I am strongly considering bringing him out to TX for a couple of weeks and see if he will just open up if its just me and him. I just don't know. But I really think my eyes are running out of tears. I mean, what will happen if my parents were to pass today. Who would take care of him, would he know what to do, where to go?
God, I know my thoughts are everywhere but I need you.
Yours Truly,
Joi
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