Dear God, I Surrender

As I venture, very gradually, into the zone of surrender, I am wonderstruck at how different things seem in its domain. The outside circumstances have changed not a whit, but where they would have earlier had me in a welter of anger, worry, anxiety and so on, now they don't concern me much. In fact, this is what I am given to understand. None of this is my stuff. It's all God's stuff! My thoughts are God's stuff. My feelings are God's stuff. My reactions are God's stuff. My achievements are God's stuff. My mistakes are God's stuff. I simply do not have to tackle the contents of my mind. I can just turn them over, lock and barrel, as is, where is, to God's custody. Liberation? I should think so.


It was said that "Deeds are done. There is no doer thereof." Guilt over our misdeeds and pride over our achievements, were both misplaced, since 'we' simply were not there!


That experience is becoming a reality, and although the ego is still very present, I can begin to feel how irrelevant the self is in the scheme of things.


Things are so much better in the absence of the self. Alas, I am still reactive, but at least there is no longer any room for second level reaction - reaction over my reaction. I no longer feel guilt or remorse over my ire. I just hand it over to God. But, relax, this does not make me as heartless as I sound. Instead of kicking myself over the past, I put my attention on what I can do to make amends and to commit myself to being more in control next time. And I move on, unhampered by past luggage, no longer being "the bag lady".


Without the self, events that would have had me frothing with anxiety - a misunderstanding with someone, for instance - no longer have the power to move me. I do what I can to mend the situation, and move on. The anxiety over consequences and the constant replaying of the event in the mind are slowly leaving me.


Surrender simplifies life enormously. You no longer worry about how others see you; or why so and so is not talking to you, and so on.


Surrender is entirely different from prayer. Prayer arises out of need, and resistance. We pray for salvation from problems, relief from suffering, for success in ventures and for happiness.


Surrender arises when need and resistance have been transcended substantially. We leave it all to God's lookout and accept the consequences, good or bad. There is calmness and strength in surrender. A peace and tranquility. An entrenchment in the experience without prejudice, whether good or bad. In surrender, one savors life fully and whole-heartedly. Because we no longer want anything other than what is, we can experience it completely, without wanting to muffle the bad bits or amplify the good ones. We experience the sharp riff of physical pain, the full depth of our anger, the feel of a dog's fur on our hands, the flow of music within every cell, the tension within our body when someone says something we disagree with. There is a relaxation and a sense of time slowing down.


Without the self, we are free to focus on the other's feelings. Empty of the self's clamoring needs and desires, fears and prejudices, the other can be received fully, their needs met, their fears resolved, and their selves honored. I have yet to get here but I eagerly look forward to finally being there for others without judgment, likes and dislikes, needs and desires.


"Live Free, or Die"

Living Within the Moment...

Life is such a continuous cycle that we sometimes forget to Live within It. I was reading a few articles over the weekend and I really enjoyed this one....Its things you already know but a refresher doesn't hurt. We really must "Live within the Moments"...


-Spiritual Growth, Suite 101, By Christina Downs

By living in the moment, a person can relax and enhance spirituality.

What does it mean to live in the moment? Often a person's mind is not on what he is actually doing. Instead of focusing on the current meeting, a man’s mind wonders where to go for a drink after work or what to make for dinner that night. Rather than focusing on playing a game with her children, a woman’s mind wanders to an earlier conversation with a friend.


Today’s Hectic Society Makes it Difficult to Find Peace


It's hard to focus on one item at a time. In today's hectic, multi-tasking world, people jump quickly from task to task, always worrying about what's next or dwelling on the past. People often waste "now" time, missing what is happening in the only moment that truly exists – the present moment, which is where a person finds peace.


A simple flower has no problems living in the moment, growing and dying exactly as intended, never worrying about what will happen next. Religious leaders and texts speak to this phenomenon. For example, in the Bible verses Matthew 6:28-31, Jesus asks, “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet…not even Solomon…was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field…will he not much more clothe you…”


Smelling a field of fresh wildflowers, holding a child's hand, walking barefoot on the grass – life gains meaning through the single tiny moments. Some would argue that everyone would feel more at peace by learning to live every moment to its fullest, by just being.


How to Find Peace - and Grow Closer to Spirituality Within Each Moment

How can human beings avoid losing this "now" living?

While everyone thinks about the past or the future at some point, it is possible to retain the current moment, even if just for a moment. And isn't that all that's really needed? The following four tips suggest ways to start living in the moment, helping people find peace and attain greater spirituality in everyday life:


Being in nature helps a person live in and focus on each moment . Spiritual people often feel that being in nature brings them closer to their spirituality by demonstrating creation. As a person focuses on nature, peace overcomes her, and she becomes one with everything, living in the now.

Reading a thought-provoking book helps a person live in the moment by losing himself in another world. When a reader becomes lost in a story, other life responsibilities take a back seat. Focusing on only one item - the words/ideas on the page - the reader momentarily steps away from the fast pace of real life and finds peace.


Repetitive exercise helps a person’s body and mind live in the moment. Practicing mental and physical exercise is another method that can be used to live in the now. Whether practicing Yoga, lifting weights, or walking, when the muscles are taxed, the mind follows. Focusing on each individual movement forces the mind to live in that single moment with the body.


Praying and meditating helps a person live in the moment and grow closer to God. Not only does praying bring a greater sense of spirituality for a religious individual, it also relaxes the body and mind, helping a person find peace. Meditating takes this a step further into mindfulness, becoming intensely aware of self and surroundings, senses heightened yet relaxed and peaceful.


How Living These Single Moments Helps People Find Peace in Everyday Life

At moments when a person focuses so completely on the present (whether through time in nature, reading, exercise, prayer, or some other method of living in the moment), it becomes possible to set the hectic world aside. If a person spends enough time living these moments outside of everyday responsibilities, then those moments start to stay with her, helping her find peace amidst the craziness of daily life.


Living in the moment makes a person constantly aware while at the same time feeling “above” or part of it all, like soaring in the clouds yet planted on the ground simultaneously. Living in the moment makes many problems seem less significant yet magnifies the blessings.


Eckhart Tolle, author of the books The New Earth and The Power of Now, says, “The sapling doesn't want to grow. It lives in the moment, and growing happens to it.”
Human beings can take a lesson from that sapling by living in the moment and simply letting growing happen to them. That’s the real secret to how everyone can find peace and grow closer to God - moment by moment.


LIVE...

Losing HALF of Me...

I'm starting on a health kick, I need to lose a few extra pounds. Weight loss is such an intense journey. A journey that I know well. In the summer of 2007 I had gotten up to 293 pounds. And today, Summer 2009, I am 168!! Yes 293 to 168! Please believe it was tough shit, but it feels like such a major accomplishment!!

I am now trying to get down to a good & healthy size 8. I am a size 10 currently so it seems as if this should be easy but we'll see :-/ lol.

So as of today, 10/12/2009 at 12:32am, I am 168, size 10.....Let's get it! I'll keep you posted...